» » Should I Stay Or Go? : How Controlled Separation (CS) Can Save Your Marriage

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by Lee Raffel
Download Should I Stay Or Go? : How Controlled Separation (CS) Can Save Your Marriage fb2
Relationships
  • Author:
    Lee Raffel
  • ISBN:
    0809229978
  • ISBN13:
    978-0809229970
  • Genre:
  • Publisher:
    McGraw-Hill; 1 edition (September 1, 1998)
  • Pages:
    304 pages
  • Subcategory:
    Relationships
  • Language:
  • FB2 format
    1709 kb
  • ePUB format
    1524 kb
  • DJVU format
    1534 kb
  • Rating:
    4.5
  • Votes:
    931
  • Formats:
    mobi lit doc txt


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Should I Stay or Go? book. Until now, couples facing the dilemma of deciding whether or not to stay in an unhappy marriage had three options: individual or couples therapy, separation, or divorce

Should I Stay or Go? book. Until now, couples facing the dilemma of deciding whether or not to stay in an unhappy marriage had three options: individual or couples therapy, separation, or divorce. Should I Stay or Go? provides these couples with a fourth option-the Controlled Separation (CS). It also contains sample contracts, along with helpful checklists and self-assessment tools.

How Controlled Separation (CS) Can Save Your Marriage. Should I Stay or Go? explains CS and shows how it can be used as a tool to help couples make the best decision for both partners.

Until now, couples facing the dilemma of deciding whether or not to stay in an unhappy marriage had three options: individual or. .

Until now, couples facing the dilemma of deciding whether or not to stay in an unhappy marriage had three options: individual or couples therapy, separation, or divorce.

Should I Stay Or Go? : How Controlled Separation (CS) Can Save Your Marriage. Dueling book cover. ay the best design win! Start Voting.

Should I stay or go? by Lee Raffel, September 1, 1998 . Should I Stay Or Go? How Controlled Separation (CS) Cas Save Your Marriage. IT'S NOT A question of the zip being gone from your marriage.

Should I Stay Or Go? How Controlled Separation (CS) Cas Save Your Marriage. Published September 1, 1998 by McGraw-Hill.

She refers to this as a Controlled Separation. Both partners need to be committed to change, compromise, and self examination. The reward is a much improved marriage and avoidance of painful and costly divorce.

Reading material to consider: Should I stay or Go: How Controlled Separation Can Save Your Marriage, Lee .

Reading material to consider: Should I stay or Go: How Controlled Separation Can Save Your Marriage, Lee Raffel and Jean Jouston. How One of You Can Bring the Two of You Together: Breakthrough Strategies to Resolve Your Conflicts and Reignite Your Love by Sue Ellen Page. Anonymous · 1 decade ago. 0.

How Controlled Separation (CS) Can Save Your Marriage by Lee Raffel The first thing our marriage counselor covered was a time limit.

How Controlled Separation (CS) Can Save Your Marriage by Lee Raffel. The first thing our marriage counselor covered was a time limit. He said that in a controlled separation it is helpful to have an idea of when we want to sit down, take stock, and consider moving back into the same house again. He recommended a time limit in the 1-6 month range. He advised that both extremes of that time limit would probably not be the best choice at this time.

Until now, couples facing the dilemma of deciding whether or not to stay in an unhappy marriage had three options: individual or couples therapy, separation, or divorce. Should I Stay or Go? provides these couples with a fourth option--the Controlled Separation (CS).

Revolutionary in scope, CS is a compassionate process that is designed to build respect and foster advocacy between spouses. Should I Stay or Go? thoroughly explains the CS guidelines, including the 12 fundamental issues that must be resolved for a workable, orderly separation. It also contains sample contracts, along with helpful checklists and self-assessment tools.


Onath
Every few years a set of insights so simple and brilliant comes along that people are left to ask, "Where has this been?" Lee Raffel's insights on the necessity to plan a life event as momentous and confounding as a marital separation are surely among those.

As an attorney and family mediator, I've often been struck by how quickly and automatically many professionals (especially attorneys) have assumed that spouses who breathe the word "divorce" must immediately be ushered through the legal steps of divorce. Not knowing any differently nor what they could do to see the true range of their options, these poor spouses (many of them parents responsible for fragile children) end up spending less time planning their separation than planning a Super Bowl party. In some cases, they are even lured into thinking they can sue each other on their way to a good outcome.

Among other things, Ms. Raffel has shown that whether or not a troubled couple ultimately divorces, we professionals owe it to them to show that they have the chance to make their separation as constructive as possible. And she goes a long way in giving simple but brilliant guidance on the issues a husband and wife can consider to succeed--again, whether they ultimately reconcile or begin a respectful divorce.

My experience is that couples who separate without the kind of planning recommended by Ms. Raffel (and sadly that's most separating couples) are unknowingly embarking on a perilous course without a map, a compass, or even a sense of partnership among the crew. They are virtually predestined to misunderstand and disappoint each other. No wonder so many spouses who separate out of hurt, frustration, or depression end up divorced--even when they didn't need or want a divorce when they separated. And no wonder so many of them end up not just divorced, but angry, adversarial, and even impaired in their parenting.

I hope more spouses thinking them condemned to divorce will take advantage of this remarkable book and resources like [...]. And I desperately hope more family attorneys and counselors will acquaint themselves with Ms. Raffel's gentle, respectful, and long-overdue insights.
Stoneshaper
This book was exactly what I needed when I knew the actual legal separation wouldn't address the problems in my marriage to a positive solution. My husband and I love each other but we are in a difficult situation with an drug addicted son/step-son and our own personal boundaries. This book helped us walk through how to separate with love and a joined purpose to work this through to the right conclusion, whatever it might be. It was very helpful and stood alone the positive use of separation as a means to a long and healthy marriage.
I am hcv men
This book is excellent
Frey
I really like the contract that is in this book. My husband and I used it for our separation and it set the boundaries that we needed.
Gio
Not what I was expecting. The title of the book does not describe the content at all.
It's more a detailed instruction book of how to temporarily separate, and how to plan the logistics of the separation. It would probably be good to use along with a therapist if you are a couple trying to plan the details of your separation.
It will not help you address the question of whether or not you should stay in your relationship/ marriage.
Nahelm
Excellent book and innovative concept. Very good case studies; one or two that will likely apply to the reader's own situation. The title misleads just a bit in that I thought the book was going to help me then-and-there as to whether I should stay or go. It deals more with the task of separating and the rules that go along with it, so that you CAN decide whether to stay or go. I found that this book was excellent as a second-read, behind "Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay." Would absolutely recommend both books for that delicate situation of being in a shaky, unresolved marriage.
Ndlaitha
This book offers an alternative to radical action that could help save many marriages and preserve the friendship in cases where the marriage is over. It was nice to know there are ways to soften the transition if it is determined that one or both of you do not wish to remain in the marriage. It is also good to hear that in many cases, the author's suggestions helped rock the boat enough that the couple was spurred to actions that resulted in not only saving the marriage, but restoring the relationship to health.
I bought this book based on the recommendation of another author. I was looking for guidelines about how to navigate the controlled separation. My husband has been diagnosed with ADHD recently and we wanted to separate temporarily while we work on changing behaviors. The book did not explain the contract in a detailed manner and more than half the book is stories about couples who are in crisis because of adultery. I wanted information about how controlled separation works and a step by step guide to doing it. I found the website really had all the information I needed.