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This book has an intro chapter, then several chapters on family roles that may or may not reflect one's own experiences. I found the closing chapters most helpful. What is good about this book is it helps you to recognize the effects that a loveless family has on you as an adult and the ways that you may be acting out roles and behaviors that are maladaptive. This book causes a great deal of self evaluation. There is not a step by step way of getting your family to change, this is more about self acceptance and understanding the limitations that family members have.

I'm glad someone wrote a book about this topic, but I was hoping for something more scholarly. Instead, it seemed to follow the structure of a pop-psychology or self-help book.

This book helped give me an insight on what is and isn't normal in a family. It doesn't tell you how to solve it, nor does it pretend to, but it is a good starting point for learning what needs addressing. I'd recommend it to anyone who feels estranged from their parents, be they adoptive or biological.

It came on time, and seems very good so far.

This is a great book. I recommend it to anyone who wants to expand his business and have a very good relationship with his clients.

Jon Bloch has written this most profound book on understanding families without love. His revelations are so perceptive and easily understood. A book that will free many demons that possess those who have been raised and trapped in loveless families and give them the ability to cope with all that has transpired, yes even heal and make them complete.

Jon speaks in the introductory part about..."Love appears to be in short supply...I have reached the sad conclusion that the loveless family is all too common." He discusses the lack of emotional presence...He also states, "Home is where love is!" Such a profound statement and accurate assessment of the world we live in today...Another brilliant thought he shares. "Home is where we love"....He discusses that often people do not know how to love..disdain and indifference is expressed quite unambiguously...He states his book is about taking a deep breath and facing the extremely painful fact that you never felt loved in your family. And, just as painful, that because you were unloved you feel little, if any, love for your family in return. He also talks about the prejudism that exists among people..

Other quotes from his book- "One should feel love and acceptance when one walks through the door to a loved ones home or your own own and when that is not present there is something missing... most likely love." He discusses the warm feelings of acceptance and how different it felt that the lack of love feelings...He mentions the fact of people saying they "did love" you. ~In past tense~ but did does not mean here and now... My hubby experienced that same unexpected saying last year, this phraseology caused me to relate deeply to the authors insight, the reality and truth was spoken, however and it was a good revelation although painful to realize...

"Some simply do not know how to express love even if it does exist"... "The elation that you feel from a communication in which love has been exchanged-whether face-face, on the phone, or through the Internet-does not occur when I speak with my family, and I am reasonably certain that others in my family feel the same way. I say this without melodrama, as I know I am hardly alone in having a loveless family."

"Simply put, there was no love between us-nothing to glue us all together."

Either you love someone or you do not! It is simple...

Page 4 "To truly love someone you have to know something about who that person is. And even people who are good judges of character can misjudge another person. But when someone thinks you are a certain kind of person-or more to the point, insists that you be a certain kind of person- and this has little in common with how you see yourself or with who you want to be, there is likely to be conflict and a sense of disassociation from that person." He also discusses secrecy, the duty to stay in touch because of obligations.

Page 6 "Thus, when you are forced to be in the same room with family members, you are likely to feel that you are among so many strangers, or even worse, in a roomful of enemies-people who will try to break your spirit out of jealousy, or because they are afraid of something about you that they do not know. "

"If one person in a family feels unloved, it could very well be that other people in the family feel the same way. Perhaps other members also feel no one wants to know them or that no one really cares about them."

Page 7 "There may be someone who tried to get you back into the family fold- not realizing that you never felt part of it in the first place. Usually, these tactics involve guilt baiting, defensiveness, bullying, lying, or a general lack of validation for anything you have to say. Without realizing it, such a person simply is proving how little love there is in the family-how little anyone really wants to get to know you."

"Sometimes people are delusional, overconfident, underconfident, in denial about a problem they have, or simply come to the wrong conclusion. But for the words to matter, the person in question still needs to feel that she's been heard-that shes' shared, and the other party has listened "

Excellent chapter on "What A Loveless Family Does To You" in chapter 2

"He mentions that some people have long term memories that are better than others... just as some people remember little about the past one way or the other...."

"Never having had much experience with love and being afraid of revealing too much of yourself to others, you try to minimize your discomfort by struggling as best as you can through social relationships."

Page 39 "You may also have difficulty crossing those invisable barriers you never had permission to cross."

He discusses frenemies in detail and sources of lifelong battles or cold wars, it is an excellent chapter..

Page 52 "There is considerable resentment and lack of trust under the surface. Or maybe you are still dating someone the family does not approve of, or your family has never approved of the partner they know you have. Where there is love, major political or religious differences of opinion can be set aside, or even joked about. Bot other times these differences rightly or wrongly outweigh family bonds. So the archconservative and ultraliberal siblings barely tolerate each other, but would rather not speak to each other at all. Or perhaps a family tragedy split everyone apart, and the family never truly came back together again. because they nver sat down and dealt with the cause of their sorrow. "

Page 53 "Between children and adults, there may be a lifelong disappointment over a child's failure to meet the parents' expectations...The child, in turn, may spend a lifetime fluctuating between guilt for having failed and resentment for being expected to succeed in the first place."

Page 57 "The more trivial the matter at hand, the more matters may escalate, and you are disappointed that people can't get past their petty differences."

"You are well aware that the family patterns you grew up with were sick, even ugly. But at time you feel like you have been cursed, and no matter how hard you try, you find yourself in similar situations".. My hubby has tried to break several curses passed down through his family but without much success, "The Loveless Family" has shed new light and understanding on why they exist, hopefully future generations will recognize them and remove them so that love rules and healthy happy relationships develop.

I have to stop...there is just way too much wonderful information in Jon's book and it has been hard to break it down into a short review... It has changed not only my perceptions, thoughts and feelings but also those of my hubby... liberating many long-term imprisonments and setting us free...YAY!

Do buy it and read it especially if you or a loved one has experienced growing up and being part of an unloving family. It will give you peace of mind and tools to become a healed and well-balanced person.